Yes, I’m aware that it is March…
But this is my first blog of the year…My family has been taking charge of our health, renovating our home, and I’ve been working on the completion of my second novel, Sunny’s Story 2, the sequel to the first. So, Happy New Year.

My sister-in-law shared on Facebook the You-tube video of Lady Gaga’s performance on the Oscars, making a tribute to the people who have been sexually abused. The message in essence was that unless you’ve been through their experience, you can’t know what it’s like to be them.
My thought after watching the powerful and moving video is that this is true for everyone and, each of our experiences. That unless you too, have gone through it, how would you know?

Like losing a child, or a spouse, or a parent..through death.
Like having a special needs child.
Like having cancer, taking chemo, radiation, surgery…
Like being a single parent and raising your children alone…
Like being poor, rich…
Like being a full time caretaker for someone…
Like owning your own business…
Like working for someone else…
Like being in a war…
Like taking the life of another…
Like being in prison…
Like being adopted…
Like being an unwed mother and giving up your baby or keeping your baby…
Like having an abortion…
Like being gay…
Like being raped…
Like being blind, deaf…
Like being overweight, underweight…
Like being addicted to …whatever…
Like having a body that no longer works and your mind is still sharp or your body’s great, but your mind is gone…
Like being a Republican or a Democrat…:) thought I’d throw that in for fun…:)

Like being different…which we all are, but for some, our differences, stand out a lot more than others.
Every one of us carries something that has hurt, continues to hurt, or isn’t easy, for lack of a better term or separates us.

Expecting others to understand what that’s like, would be like them coming from another country, speaking a different language, and then understanding what you’re talking about. They wouldn’t.
Unless of course, you’re from the same country-have undergone the same thing, but even then, because you are an individual-you’ll still see it differently.
So…what do we do, to make others ‘see’? understand?….
I guess one way would be to share our stories…but even then, I don’t think that would do the trick…there’s just too much in our hearts and souls to convey our experiences…and too much judgment in the eyes of the others, the ones that you are trying to ‘get’ to understand.
Bottom line, unless someone is ‘open and wanting’ you cannot make them understand.
So we give that grace to ourselves. We hug and acknowledge and love the places we’ve been and the people we are now because of that. And we let go of the need, of trying to ‘get others’ to see. Because it just doesn’t matter.

What matters is that we are kind anyway…first to ourselves and then to others, knowing that if they are alive, they have gone through something too.
And if those others cannot understand or be compassionate…that’s okay. Let them go and wish them well, ’cause it’s enough to know that you know…