Monthly Archives: March 2015

that when I post pictures of our home, farm…that others could interpret that as bragging….”Hey Look at Me and What I Have!”…..

Just to be clear…nope, that is not my intention.  And while its none of my business, as to how others take or perceive me or what I do… (oh, oh…does this mean I’m going to defend myself??? 🙂  I want to say this…everything (or mostly everything)  I post, I do it because I love it and want to share my joy with you.

I feel that our world is filled with so much unhappiness, that’s it’s nice to know that there is good here too…like achieving dreams, celebrating the moments, giving hope of possibilities, opportunities.

From my pictures and posts, people might interpret that I have an ‘easy’ life.   While I know that I have been blessed, I also know that my life is not an easy one….things that most take for granted do not come easily to me but this is okay…I love my life…challenges and all.

My point is this…all of us have our ‘stuff’…maybe yours is financial, or dealing with health and/or a  life threatening illness, or relationship issues…or a combination of things…really scary things.  Life isn’t fair, no one said that it would be…but it’s still worth loving and fighting for.  And for me sharing what brings me joy…reminds me of what I’m fighting for……….

Just like Pitt Bull with Ne-Yo in their current song titled,’Time of Our Lives.  I agree, yes it is!

Yesterday a new friend through Facebook wrote to me and told me how much the book that Gayle and I wrote together, “It’s All About Attitude,” meant to her and her family.  She said that our book came to them at a time when they were feeling lost…their world turned upside down by the diagnosis of autism.   And that by reading our story…I imagine that it was like a hand being extended to them in a dark and scary place.

I understand completely.

There have been many times that I too have felt lost, scared, not knowing which way to turn… and someone’s words, heart coming through on the page. have been like a life raft being thrown out to me in dark and murky waters….giving me hope, direction, and the confidence to hear and follow my own truth once again.  Dark and murky…now clear blue.

I also am grateful for those who love my art… my creativity whether its through writing, painting, basket weaving, cooking, decorating or photography…they are all expressions of my love of life…the beauty that I see and feel around me.  So when someone tells me they like it….my heart smiles…big time!

and I just wanted you to know that……….

thank you!

to a family member that things have not been exactly copasetic lately………I thought it was time to bury the hatchet and make amends…at least  that was my intention.  Apparently the person that I  extended it to, thought otherwise.  If the branch had been real…I’m thinking that it either would have gone up my…um…backside…or I’d been thrashed with it…or like a cold icicle…speared with it…just sayn…

So needless to say…my offer was rescinded and sent back to me in a way that there was no doubt of its meaning.  Which was/is okay…except I kind of felt like a fool or worse yet…a little naked or a whole lot of naked.  The last time I felt like that, exposed for the world to see …was when I posted something derogatory about our current president…which I no longer do or will do…in fact I have stepped out of the political arena preferring to stay on safer grounds…at least for the time being.

But this person is my family and at one time we were close, so I tried again to reach out with the hopes of a better outcome.  I have sent emails, texts…all without any response…so rather than assume I decided to ask this person what this meant.  I know…really?? :).  So if I wasn’t clear before, after the whip lashing from the olive branch that I’d extended; now I was.

So…what to do with these feelings of embarrassment, vulnerability, foolishness and rejection…and a huge dose of self doubt for trying to be nice…which felt even worse than the actual door slamming…thinking of the things I should have/could have said instead.

And then I thought of some other members in my family that might not be happy with me if they knew that I’d reached out to this person…I could hear their words…What… are you crazy?  What the f…were you thinking….Seriously why don’t you just roll over and let them walk all over you…”

So add guilt to the mix too.

I decided to paint….we have a new cow trough…actually this one is an old worn out bathtub that we’re now using as a place to plant tomatoes…….and onions…I got my brush, white paint and painted….and painted…now it’s safe to say I’m wearing clothes again(white)…the yucky place I’d found myself in (inside my own skin) has passed, I like myself again, and it’s really okay that this other person doesn’t want to reconnect.  I can let go.

…and my family….. no worries……….they’ll never know…:) whoop! whoop!

I love olives and I love opportunities to grow…even if it sometimes leaves a sour taste in my mouth/soul… in the end, I know it’s all good.